All my life, I had played by the book. Good grades - check. Good schools - check. A decent job with a healthy balance of life, hobbies, and vacations - check. A loving family and partner, and lots of people around who generally seemed to like me... On the surface, I had nothing to complain about, yet I was not happy.

For over a decade, I pursued the elusive path of transformation by throwing myself at more things than I care to admit. And while each experience for sure taught me valuable lessons, a large part of that journey felt arduous, alone and left me feeling confused and frustrated most times.

I was out learning to snowboard a few years ago when my valiant husband volunteered us to board down a Blue slope. Balance had never been that much of a challenge to me and I started to move pretty quickly. We started down the slope and I began to pick up speed. A few seconds in however, just as I approached that awesome cruising zone where effort balances ease, I was flooded with imagery of myself tumbling over, breaking my neck, dislocating my shoulders and losing limbs! These thoughts came crashing down on me following which I had no option but to come to a halt in the only way I knew how - land on my butt. This happened over and over again over the next few days.

Who am I? … If you asked me this question a year ago, I would not be open to answering it. Because in typical measurements of a successful woman in her mid-thirties, I was not. I quit my job in IT when I had my 2 babies, I was doing many things at the same time … I was a mess according to typical modern society standards, right?

Hi! I’m Meredith. For a long time I had been in what felt like a rut. I was depressed and confused about what it all means. Since joining this course, I have started to take care of my feelings of depression… and I’m still very confused! It might seem like that’s not much of a change, but I’m starting to feel that having questions, and exploring, is just a part of my life. I’ve been starting to let go of an anxious rictus that I need to have right answers to everything… and feel what it means to be playful. Having a group of women to laugh with, talk straight with, puzzle with, and share joy with, has been a truly transformative experience.